Hiding with your eyes shut, tightly on the way to the hospital.

I feel the need to draw mtself farther out of this life I've been trying to make for myself.
It seems like were allgoing in different directions,and I'm not sure if I want to hold on much longer.
It's like I am constantly being let down by everyone around me. I can't trust the people I'll always trust.
Ican't love the people I'll always love.
And it's tearing me into a billion and three pieces.
I'm a hundred dollars in debt.
Thanks to Pamela.
Shes such a bitch. I'm sorry that her husband abandoned her children and herself to sleep with his co-worker, and stay at his mothers house an hour away, but that's not my fault.
It takes two people to Tango, and i stay away from dancefloors.
Your built up aggression shouldn't be taken out at me, or your little scout.
Anywho, Kirstens Birthday was Sunday, and today she got new breaks and an oil change.
Oh yeah, and she saw her childhood hero. So while I'm trying desperatle to lift a thousand pound rock off of my head before I go to work, shes posting bulletins with a billion smiley faces, stating shes so happy.
This is another problem in this group. Were all so different. Were all on different planes, all at the same time. Everyday, All day.
It's this constant balance of happiness and deprression were all facing.
I'm usually left in the depression part of it all.
Say what you will, this al makes sense to me, however you've stopped reading this by noww, thinking, this girl is fucked up. She has no idea what shes saying, and she rambles in circles.
Well my dear, I know exactly what Im saying, and my mind is just that, a cirlce.
It's actually a thousand entangled crazed circles, each keeping its own thought or question or idea, and each one desperatley trying to find its way out of the clump of other circles.
And yes, all of this is going on while I'm criss-crossed on my uncomfortable chair, leaning back, typing and wating for my vegetable soup to cool; i'm just complex. And I'm just that simple.